|Treated myself to Sunflowers :)|
I've been trying to do mine at the weekends when the boys are with their dad. I did have a week at the beginning of the summer holidays, which was fairly productive, then I selfishly swanned off to Spain for three nights and three days which would have been when I could write. (But I'm not changing that experience for the world). I did do a lot of reading though - which counts as a writing related activity in my book!
So yes, productivity is very slow - and as usual I'm beating myself up about it!
Currently I'm working on my third book which has the working title of To Love Again.
This weekend, I did manage over 1500 words, and it was a poignant moment for my heroine. I got to use some of the emotions I've been feeling over the past few months. I only hope I've managed to grasp them within the words I've written.
These past couple of months I've been reflective on everything. I decided that Spain would draw a line under all the shit I'd felt this year so far, and would move on. And I have... but I do have my moments of dwelling, and trying to decide what do I really want.
Maybe sometimes these things in life are sent to us for a reason. They hurt, and time heals, and if nothing more, I've been able to apply it to my writing. There have been moments when I've wished for that time machine to whisk me forward to show me things will be all right. To this moment, where I feel happier.
Life for me is pretty good at the moment - although I don't like to get too excited. Life has a way of throwing a spanner in the works. Yet, now I'm concentrating on me and the people who are important to me, and not looking for 'the one', I'm finding I'm in a better place. Some days are harder than others, where the fear of loneliness creeps in, but generally, I'm good. I'm about to finish the third season of Glee - I can recommend Glee as fantastic feel good therapy. Singling, dancing and teenage romances... What's not to love?
It's been over five months now since #MrAquarius upped and left, and something like over two months with #TheBoyWithTheDragonTattoo, however I do not feel in any shape or form ready to date again. I can feel me being cynical to anything a man may try to tell me. I can hear myself saying, "Hang on, let me just fit my bullshit defenders on, oh, now carry on..." Yeah, so not how to get a man.
The next guy really is going to have his work cut out. He really will have to prove his worth. Don't envy him! lol!
Another reason I am in no frame of mind to do the online dating thing again, is it takes up so much time. So, until the book is finished, and I feel ready for some fun, I'm sticking to my single life. And maybe, when I'm at my most happiest, and not really looking for love, it will find me...