tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7946131609680459085.post596648405363495242..comments2023-11-24T10:40:31.923+00:00Comments on The Wittering Woman ...: The Wedding Favour - Chapter TwoTeresa F Morganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368928238008888457noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7946131609680459085.post-43627824162648258372010-10-01T10:54:29.379+01:002010-10-01T10:54:29.379+01:00Becky, I'll take a look at the blasphemy. I h...Becky, I'll take a look at the blasphemy. I have always been aware that some may not like it, but I wonder if it is 'lighter' swearing than the harsher words, and trying to make the characters real. However, I'll see if I can tone it down. I don't want Adam swearing in front of a lady, though he can have it in his thoughts lol! I used 'flipping heck' in a short story and my beta told me my character sounded like a child... so there's a thin line of getting them to sound 'right'. <br /><br />Thanks Michelle, at first I had this chapter starting in Sophie's pov, but my betas said it would be good for the reader to 'see' more of Adam, and see Sophie through his eyes... and I think it worked :DTeresa F Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04368928238008888457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7946131609680459085.post-84841203954503171702010-10-01T10:44:23.205+01:002010-10-01T10:44:23.205+01:00I loved this and now Adam is coming into his own t...I loved this and now Adam is coming into his own too :-) I am so desperate to read the whole novel! I really like the one step forward two steps back with her confidence, I can identify with that. You have to give us more!!!michelle handysidehttp://mightymicki.blog.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7946131609680459085.post-46360324386538773912010-10-01T09:52:51.923+01:002010-10-01T09:52:51.923+01:00Well done! I enjoyed it a lot.One point I would ra...Well done! I enjoyed it a lot.One point I would raise is I think there are too many 'hells.' A lot of people find that quite offensive (along with God) when they're used in writing, and it can be percieved as blasephemous (sp).And I don't think its just christians who do.<br />I would just re-read and try and loose a few of them or repalce with other words.<br />I also agree about the cars. I wouldn't namecheck them for dating reasons but also because you don't want Vauxhall getting all narky when you're a famous author because you called their Corsa 'poky' lol! <br />But really very well done for putting your work out there. When's cahpter 3 coming? xxxdesperate housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00160529303496150273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7946131609680459085.post-1572072512193019902010-09-29T19:02:00.994+01:002010-09-29T19:02:00.994+01:00Thanks for the nits! I'm in two minds about t...Thanks for the nits! I'm in two minds about the cars. I was thinking that myself. The Five Series has been about for a long time, yet admittedly I wouldn't lose anything if I dropped it. BMW is pretty 'impressive'. He's not going to have the compac :-P I'll try and think of something generic for the Corsa... or I could use 'Mini' - they've been around for years :-p (just kidding!). <br /><br />I'll check out the missing word... good at doing that. I'd done it on Chapter 1, too. Mortified I was! It was practically perfect otherwise (except obviously the content lol!)Teresa F Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04368928238008888457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7946131609680459085.post-81208719232433127112010-09-29T15:20:50.689+01:002010-09-29T15:20:50.689+01:00Hi Teresa,
Well done for being brave!
I like thi...Hi Teresa,<br /><br />Well done for being brave!<br /><br />I like this chapter very much. Please keep going with the book.<br /><br />Just a couple of comments:<br />1. Naming cars tends to date the piece, lose the Five series and corsa and keep them more generic for longevity.<br />2. There is a word missing in the sentence about half way down, starting "Hey...<br /><br />Love the phrase 'confident in her own skin', maybe because I'm so often not comfortable in mine. Lol.<br /><br />Keep going.<br /><br />Morton xMorton S Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06649436201501082802noreply@blogger.com