The Only Thing Standing Between You And Your Goal Is YOU.

I've come to realise, especially with reading lots of self-development lately, that, without sounding lazy, I don't want to go back to full time work. 

I've been lucky that for the past 16 years I've been a stay-at-home mum, only working part-time. Those hours have increased as the boys have got older, and my divorce requiring me to work more for working tax credit purposes etc.

However, I love this part-time life, and I wouldn't be a writer if I didn't have it.

I love that I am here for my children - even though they're getting less dependent on me now. 

So my goal is to remain working part-time. In fact, my goal is to eventually be my own boss in my own business. But one step at a time... 

I've never thought myself ambitious, but it's like I've had some realisation that I actually am.

When I started my new venture I didn't realise this. But now, I want the holidays, the cars... it's not about the money, it's about the life I wish to lead, providing for my kids; the financial independence. Which is so important as a single mother!

Maybe working years for a company I don't really like has helped this realisation, because I've seen it with my own eyes. I'll always be a number, an employee, easily replaceable. The only way I'll earn more is to work more for them (or another company). And it's still capped.

Today, I paid for my oven to be cleaned. I usually do this every 1-2 years. One day I want to able to afford a cleaner for my house! The only way I'll do this if I work for myself and not work for someone else. 

Also today, as well as touching my business, I've had the time to put dinner on in the slow cooker and make a batch of my 7-veg tomato sauce, which I generally use as a homemade pasta sauce. 

This free time is so important to me! 

This journey won't be easy - I certainly can't give up the part-time job yet. I'm not on some get rich quick scheme and I'm well out of my comfort zone. But nothing ever grows in your comfort zone. I've seen that it works for others, so why can't it work for me too?  

I can't recommend self-development books enough! Positive thoughts definitely is key. They've made me realise my potential.

Never quit on a bad day. We're all going to get them. The journey will never be easy. But if you want it bad enough, the Universe will make it happen.

My Dream...

As most of my friends know, writing is my passion. I discovered it in 2006, which means I've been writing for 14 years now. (Wow!) All I want in life is to keep writing. 

But as we writers know, writing is not that lucrative (for some/most) - especially in fiction department!

At the moment I am financially supported through working part-time, working tax credits, and maintenance I receive from the boys' dad. But as my children grow older (Ben is 16 this year), looking for a full time job is looming - otherwise how else will I pay my bills?

However, without wanting to sound lazy, I don't want to go back to full-time employment.

I very much doubt I'll find a job - due to my lack of experience and not having been in a "proper" job (as I call it) for 15 years - that will fulfill me mentally as writing fiction does. 

And, more importantly, when will I get to write? 

I am in the middle of completing my proofreading/copy editing course, so maybe something will come of that. It's taken longer than planned to complete due to Covid-19. 

However, recently I started in a new business venture, where I am surrounded by a great team for support and it's something I can do from home and work around my writing! This new chapter in my life relies on referrals, so I'm depending at the moment, in the early stages and while we can't physically network, on friends to watch my presentation. 

I'm not flogging beauty products, cards, tupperware, timeshares or anything like that. In fact, I'm not asking anyone to part with their money but I look at saving you money on bills you're already spending on.

I desperately want this to work. I want to be a success story. I just want financial independence - I have given up on finding a man, let alone a bloomin' rich one! I want to be able to afford to take my kids away on family holidays abroad... it's not about the money, it's about living the life I want. 

So, if I message you, please could you give me thirty minutes of your time? It might not suit you, but you may know someone it does, and I just want that to spread far and wide... I need the referrals.

 Right, back off out in the garden to read You Are A Badass! 

(And if you're a bit nosey and want to know what I do, message me and I'll show you!)

Looking For Book-Bubers

(From Bristol that would be Book-babbers ha ha!)

There is always something that needs doing as mum, house owner, writer... 

Now I'm in need of BookBub followers. This is the new thing and publishers are looking for their authors to gather followers. BookBub is another platform to buy books through. You can find the book and then decide where you wish to buy it, whether it be Amazon, iTunes, Google, Kobo etc.

At some point, I will sit down and work out how to get a button on my website and blog, to lead my readers to BookBub. But the problem is, this will probably take up valuable writing time. And as I feel as if I've sat at my desk long enough today, it will have to land on the ever growing To-Do list.

So, anyway, for now, if you would all kindly follow me on BookBub I would be eternally grateful.

Clear HERE to follow me on BookBub.

I Love My Job

I've been neglecting my blog again haven't I? With the excitement of my second book publishing, I've sort of forgotten about over here. Sorry.

I'll give you a bit of a catch up on life.

Yesterday I handed my notice in at the school. I work one day a week as a dinner lady there. It used to be three days, until I transferred into the Post Office.

I continued to work in the school in the hope it might lead to bigger and brighter things because every mum dreams of working in a school. It fits around the kids and school holidays, blah blah blah...

Well, I either don't have a face that fits or must be rubbish at my job, because two administrative positions came and went, and I never got a look in. Nope, not even an interview.

What interviews I've had at other schools were unsuccessful and I have learnt that to get a job in a school it's not what you know... it's who. Sorry, but that is the truth of it.

Having been out of the professional environment for ten years, I did question my ability. And then I got a job in the Post Office, and have the responsibility of opening up the office on my own every Saturday, and I handle large amounts of money... so actually, I am still good at my job.

I decided I love my Post Office role, and this fits around the kids. I've done it for a year now and survived covering school holidays and inset days, I would waste no more time trying to find that perfect job in the school. It isn't there. I was sitting there, filling out application forms and attending interviews, when I should have been writing.

By leaving my dinner lady position, this will give me three solid days to concentrate on my writing, and allow me some relaxation if I meet a friend for coffee, or need to pop to the shops; I can still get my writing done. There is no way I can sit at this desk for six hours. I'd be crippled. So I do tend to do an hour, then some house work or my exercising (running or pilates) then come back for another hour and so on.

Today I am over on Jane Linfoot's blog talking PRETTY FEET.  Please pop along and see my gorgeous shoes!

And now I'm going to crack on with writing book three, where the hero looks very similar to Henry Cavill.... Yes! I love my job...

More Proverbs Less Confusion

Once again, I have been neglecting my blog, and I apologise profusely.

We are in November already. I still haven't turned the heating on... and actually, the trees outside my house still have most of their leaves.

I have a couple of topics I'd like to discuss, but on this post I want to talk about More Haste Less Speed... which I've been saying for the last forty years as Less Haste More Speed, because to me, that makes sense.

Why does it make sense to me? Because usually when I am rushing around trying to do something, and it takes longer because I am rushing, (I usually drop something, or find myself doing it twice, three times and swearing a lot!) I say to myself, "Teresa, less haste, more speed." i.e. slow down! Whereas, although the other way means the same thing, it doesn't feel like it's telling me to slow down, it's just lecturing me. It's telling me if I rush I'll be slower.

Now the reason it's come to light that I've been saying it wrong all this time is due to being in work on Friday. For one reason or another I was discussing it with my colleague and the postman - I think I was trying to tie up the mailbags quickly for the postman. They were both saying no, no it's more haste less speed... and I was like, really? I'll have to Google it. (Where would we be without the internet?)

Saturday I was back in work on my own, and we got to discussing this funny little proverb, and even a customer agreed with me that he thought it was Less Haste... then another customer afterwards said, no, it actually is More Haste...  Confused.com.

Then I decided I MUST Google it.

Admittedly I always muddle my metaphors and sayings, so it doesn't surprise me I am wrong. I did go Google though, and this is what I came up with - a discussion on Mumsnet...  (I feel relieved I am not the only person on this earth getting it wrong.)

Now, could it be that I was taught Less Haste More Speed? Is it an area thing? Is it another North/South divide or what? You know, the same as how we pronounce scones, or should it be jam first then cream (Weirdos - of course it's cream first then jam!) Or have I just been saying it wrong all these years?

Anyone else out there thought the saying went less haste more speed? 

Maybe It's Time For A Change...

What I'm about to say may go down like a lead balloon, but I'm saying it anyway! I do have a point. This post is only a bit of fun, even if I'm speaking my mind just a little! Honest.

For nearly nine years now I've worked in a convenience store - the corner shop. I see the same kind of people who come into this store on a regular basis.

Sometimes it amazes me the amount of junk in people's baskets - that's another story.

Now this is a generalisation, because not everyone fits into this 'category' (some fitness fanatics also shop in convenient stores too), but basically, the kind of people who generally come into the store is for it's convenience. Convenient food. Also cigarettes. And so I see a proportion of the population who are overweight (and usually less attractive). Sorry I said it. If I go to hell, I go to hell. 

After a few shots of squashed frogs last night, my dear friend said that maybe I should work in a gym. Because he quite rightly pointed out that I'm seeing a percentage of the population who use convenient foods. The human race is a mix of all sorts at the end of the day. And would these same people use the gym? (It's quite clearly visible that a lot of them do not - sorry - again!).

No, in a gym I'd be surrounded by fitness junkies with lovely trimmed, muscular bodies. I would be surrounded by men like this...

Which in my opinion are beautiful and a much better view to help the mundane job go by. That is my opinion. It may not be yours...

So yes, time to find a job in a gym. Agree?

This And That, Mainly That, Oh And Firemen

Thought I best check in, because as per usual I've been failing with my writing, blogging and what-not.

Last week I worked 22 hours, plus my 3 and a half hours at the school. That doesn't sound a lot, (when you think I used to work full time once) but it's a lot for a full time mum and housewife. Nothing gets done around the home, and then I'm too tired to contemplate the writing. I've really got out of routine at the moment, and when you lose the momentum in writing, it's really hard to get back into it. So, apart from doing the extra hours on the Monday morning (which I needed to grab so I've got them for when I do have to work a minimum of 16 hours) I'm not volunteering for any more overtime at the moment. Admittedly, with those extra hours I will have extra money, which will be handy. I should save, but appear to be spending it more and more. But that's another story and a bit of a gripe too. 

The good news is that we may have sold our house. We're accepting an offer, anyway. I won't get too excited about these things, I've gone through the house buying business before, and lost two houses I had fallen in love with, so just going with the flow. But next week I'm house hunting! Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Could I be in a new home in the Spring? (and my husband and I finally parted?)

Occasionally I do wobble and worry about how I'm going to cope with paying a mortgage, keeping a house up together with two kids, on minuscule wages, relying on benefits and child maintenance payments. I'm excited but very scared, I must say. I know I'll have my dad around, but it won't be quite the same as having a man under the same roof to do the things men do. But then there is this part of me who can't wait to have a place to myself. Plus, I have two boys. They'll grow... and will be able to mow the lawn for pocket money, right?

In other news: Talk about inspiration walking through your door, well work place. Last Tuesday, I'd turned up at work 9.00am for some overtime (part of those 22 hours I talked about above) and my boss, who was doing the bake-off that morning, set off the fire alarm. (For the record, in the seven years of using those ovens, I've never once set off the fire alarm ;-)) The team leader running the shift the night before had managed to take the phone home, so we couldn't call the fire brigade to tell them it was a false alarm. Twenty minutes later... (if it had been a real fire, I dread to think the state of the place) two large fire engines, blue flashing lights, sirens and everything turned up. FIREMEN! WHOOOO HOOOO!

A lot of customers stayed in the shop and ignored the alarm!

They didn't look like this. But they were all very large, buff men. lol!

I've also remembered it's my birthday week, and last year I held a party for a whole week. Not so sure what I'll be doing this year, (and no it's not my 40th yet!) although rumour has it I might have some surprises this week, so watch this space.

A New Job Thrown Into The Mix

It all happened a bit quick, but I've got a new job. The role is Lunchtime Supervisor aka dinner lady at my boys' school. I don't dish up the food, I just supervise them eating and then out in the playground.

Today was my second day and I survived! And LOVED it.

Dear God, you have to have eyes in the back of your head! You can not relax even for a second. Seriously, do not turn your back on them. I was monitoring approximately 60 5-6year olds (Year 1). The knees scraped, 'play' fighting and so-and-so won't let me play with them that goes on is constant! Thank goodness it is only for an hour and ten minutes. I have to say, hats off to teachers!

I might need to arm myself with wetwipes or something though. Some kids get soooo messy, and I get stressed with my two not sitting at the table properly lol! I amaze myself at how patient I am with other people's children. I'm terrible with my own.  

The only thing that will annoy me about this job is the stupidity of parenting I'm afraid. The amount of junk fed to kids....(when the school actually specifies no crisps or chocolate in the lunch boxes!) Don't they realise they are our future? Anyway... that's another rant which I won't go into here.

This week has been manic, too, because I've been doing some overtime at my other job (I'll be rolling in it February with extra cash - she hopes), - some training. So not much writing (during the day) is being achieved. I have sat here tonight and done a couple of hours of editing thought...

I went for the job with the school because it wasn't as if I couldn't do with the money, and the fact that it's in school, it's term time only and all that. Plus I never knew if that job would ever appear again in my lifetime (they are like gold dust) so had to go for it. It will work perfect around the kids. Who knows, I might be able to give up my Friday shift at Tescos some time in the future...

So next week, I'm hoping to get myself into a better routine and work around this shift that will be in the middle of my day - it'll be an hour and a half by the time I've walked there and back I suppose. It's three lunchtimes a week; Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but I've managed to be collared for doing Mondays too for the time being. (So Tuesday is my only FREE day - so will be designated to writing me thinks!).

Anyway, this week with all the manic-ness of it all (working in *my* time that is), I don't envy mothers who work full time. Who does their housework? (And believe me, I'm not someone who scours the house everyday with bleach - I do the bare essentials). Or have they got a special man slave? One that looks like Adam Levine would be nice.... He could sing while he dusts!

I posted this on Facebook (well shared from another source). A cheeky looking David Beckham... some of you may approve.  I've got mixed feeling about how heavily he's tattooed his arms. But he's still sexy.

I wonder if he'd do my hoovering...