Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Hello April

Goodbye, March, and HELLO, April!

Thank goodness, because it's been a difficult month. I've done hardly any writing... I haven't been able to focus. Maybe I'll look back this time next year and think what the hell was all the fuss about? I've actually torn off the month from my calendar and put it in the memory jar for this purpose. Usually I bin them.

This doesn't mean anything is easier. Even now, one month on, I keep remembering and reliving all the happy moments, which make my heart skip and gives me butterflies, and then I'm consumed with sadness because I'll never have those moments with him again...

I think about the last night we slept together and cuddled, the last time we made love... and not realising it was the last time. Would I have done things differently?

I have moments where my heart aches. I stop mid-track in whatever I'm doing and think about him. I still miss him. I'm not sure when that feeling is going to go away. Even the boys miss him...

I think what confuses me the most is how one day everything appeared perfectly fine, and the next day it all went terribly wrong. I feel deceived, duped... I look back and wonder when our relationship became a lie. When did I stop being right for him?

The last time this happened to me was twenty years ago, with my second boyfriend. We had five intense months together and then he turned his love off like a tap - he was cheating on me.

I know with time these feelings will ease, and when eventually (I realise this may take some time!) I find another man (I just hope I don't have to go through too many broken hearts to find him) this will all be a long distant memory... and I'll be able to smile at the good times again, or I won't care about them, because I'll be creating even happier moments.

Found this on my pc and thought I'd share ha ha!
For the last few weeks I've believed his depression was the reason he'd pushed me away... because he would tell me he still loved me... Therefore, I thought when he's well again he'll want me back in his life. And so I have wanted to do the right thing by standing by him. That was my hope, even if it was a glimmer. However, really those little faults of mine are the reason he's ended the relationship and that he no longer sees me in his future.

I was not right for him - and that's all he had to tell me one month ago. Not hide behind his illness.

At least I can say I tried. I proved how much I can love, how much I'm prepared to make a relationship work. Now I need to remember the good times and not blame myself. I mustn't listen to my demons, the ones that whisper maybe I'd pushed him away, or I wasn't doing something I should have been doing for him - all those fears and insecurities that creep in and worry me...

I can't keep going round in circles (but I do), trying to work out where it went wrong. I need to draw a line under it and move on. At the end of the day, what I did or didn't do doesn't matter... he just didn't love me enough.

Women love far deeper than men realise.

Monday, 30 March 2015

This Is What A Romance Author Looks Like

Book pose shot.
Finally, I've got around to sharing my professional photos taken by the lovely Kerry J Photography.

I had these done in February half-term. It was a great excuse to catch up with an old friend too :) And the boys enjoyed staying in a hotel. It made it feel like a mini holiday.

I've known Kerry since I was 8 years of age, and she has a fantastic way of putting her 'subject' at ease and getting the perfect shot. As you can see she's used the natural back drop of a park. (The kids enjoyed this bit because they got to play while we had our photo shoot - and it meant they left us in peace.)

Although I am getting better, and slightly more confident, I get quite nervous because I hate having my photo taken - unless drunk, then I don't care! (And I can blame the alcohol if they look hideous.)
Fun one! Twitter alert! 

I'm very lucky to know a professional photographer, so I was probably more relaxed too than if I hadn't known the them. Kerry and I were able to have a good gossip while searching the park for the perfect location.

I remembered from the last time Kerry took my photos to wear something with texture. This time, I chose my favourite purple jumper - because as you know, purple is my favourite colour.

I can't post them all on here. But over time I will try to use all the wonderful photos Kerry has taken.

Here are some of my favourites, that I can use for different occasions. I have a couple in black and white, but the colour photos stand out better in magazines and newspapers, I've stuck with the colour ones this time.

This is my serious shot!
I've used a couple of different photos to make my blog header, as you can see too.

All I can say is I recommend having some professional photos taken for your business, especially if you need an online presence.
This one is my favourite. 
Showing my fun side :)

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Happy 8th Birthday, Kamikaze Kieran

Yesterday, Kieran asked what time he was born. I told him 10.44am - so you're not eight until then! Ha ha! He was so excited that it was his birthday the next day, he eagerly went to bed.

His tooth even fell out at school, so he'll get a tooth fairy visit on the night of his birthday too. (I think he thinks he's going to get a bit more but he'll be wrong! This tooth fairy can just about afford a pound!)

As my two have got older, the fighting and the bickering has increased as their personalities develop. Much to my frustration, they are learning what winds each other up. However, usually, they play fantastic together - when they're not bickering - and are close brothers.

Kieran is my less sensible child, and yet he too can be helpful. He's seeing his brother do stuff, so he wants to help too... unless it means giving up PlayStation time - then I can forget it.

He has always been the clown of the family, a bit of a joker. He has a fun personality, yet can be stubborn when things aren't going his way. (Hmmm... I wonder if he got that from me ha ha!) This boy knows how to throw a mean tantrum!

Kieran entered the world with no hesitation. We used to call him Kamikaze Kieran, because he seemed to have no fear, and would destroy toys in a matter of seconds. Unlike our sensible, quietly confident Ben.

Happy 8th Birthday, to my baby boy. It doesn't matter how big you get, you'll always be my baby. Love you with all my heart x x x ...even when I'm mad.

I love this photo, taken at Harry Potter Studios - It shows off Kieran's cheeky smile perfectly. Where his brother looks less amused.

Monday, 23 March 2015

Look What Arrived Today!

It's been slightly delayed as it was due 12th March... but my paperback of One Fine Day is available. Sadly, I think this is only in the UK.

The cover is lush! It has the blurb on the back. And inside is the dedication and at the back the first chapter of Plus One is a Lucky Number.

This has made me feel even happier today. I've been feeling really positive. The future isn't certain, but my head just feels in a much better place.

It's my son's birthday tomorrow - which means I better schedule another blog post - eek!

Blurb to One Fine Day: 

Just a boy standing in front of a girl…

Actor Steve Mason has it all … gorgeous looks, the perfect starlet girlfriend hanging on his arm and his name on every Hollywood producer’s lips. That is, until it turns out the ‘perfect girl’ is actually a perfect PR stunt! Dumped and with his name plastered across every tabloid headline, Steve decides to head home to England, questioning if he’ll ever find a woman who genuinely loves him for who he is, and not just his place on the Sexiest Man Alive list.

It’s been fifteen long years since Ruby last saw her big brother – but the new LA version of Steve complete with designer wardrobe, California tan and an American accent is too much to bear – Ruby hardly recognises him and decides it’s time to get her brother back!

With Ruby’s help, Steve goes undercover as he plays the part of a regular guy who leads a regular life. And then one perfectly fine, ordinary day he meets lovely, funny, down-to-earth Lydia. But when Hollywood comes calling, will Steve be able to leave both Lydia and his little sister behind?

Buy links for Paperback: Amazon UK / Waterstones 

It's just so lovely to see it in paper! I think I might have to pop to my local Waterstones to see if they'll host another book signing... 

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Fake Friday with Bella Osborne

Today I welcome Harper Impulse author, Bella Osborne onto my blog!

Bella and I met way back in May 2014 at the RNA summer party, when I was a contender for the Joan Hessayon award. We seemed to hit it off! I remember you telling me you were going to become a Harper Impulse author, and I had to keep it a secret. It felt like forever for Harper Impulse to announce you. How hard was it to keep a secret that long offline?

It was ridiculously hard! Friends and family have been amazingly supportive so kept asking for updates and I was running out of holding phrases! I am also quite an excitable person so trying to keep that under wraps was particularly tricky!

Yes, you're very much like me. I can imagine how hard it was. What did it feel like once the secret was out?

It was totally brilliant to be able to share the news and a bit of a relief too, I'd make a rubbish spy!

So would I! Can't keep a secret for the life of me. I can't believe I managed to keep yours.

So, Bella, have you always wanted to be a writer?

I have always been writing, I started at primary school and didn’t stop. But I would never have said I wanted to be a writer – people like me don’t become writers! If I’d ever thought it was an option then I would have jumped at the chance but being a writer was never put forward as anything other than a hobby or something you did at school.

Did you manage to get the first book you wrote published, or is it tucked in a drawer somewhere?

First whole book yes I did! How cool is that? First story - no, I’m afraid not. I wrote a cracking story when I was nine about a thief that stole the crown jewels and this sadly remains unpublished. Although my teacher did type it up and pin it on the classroom wall – it was a proud day. I also have a drawer full of partly completed novels where I merrily set off writing and lost interest or was distracted by a custard crème. 

What do you do with a paperback once you’ve read it?

If I’ve enjoyed it I will pass it on to a friend. I have a bit of a book thing in that I can’t break the spine of a paperback so I read them barely open and at a strange angle (yes, I know this is odd behaviour) and I almost faint if I see someone turn a corner down! So usually when I pass on paperbacks they look like they’re brand new!

What advice would you give to new writers?

Seek out other writers. I can’t explain how brilliant it feels to be around other writers. I would recommend joining groups, courses and the myriad of genre writing associations. I joined the Romantic Novelists Association on their New Writer’s Scheme and I have learned so much from their events, met some amazing writers and made some terrific friends.

Make time to write. If you really want to write, then something else has to give; be it social media, Candy Crush, television, sleep or the cleaning – trust me in a year’s time you won’t regret not having done those things but you will regret not having found time to write.

What things inspire you to write? Location, music, film or even in a book?

Sleep mainly! My best ideas wake me up but unfortunately this is often in the middle of the night and I struggle to get back to sleep. I also earwig conversations and jot down any ideas that spring to mind throughout the day. 

What is next on your agenda after publishing your (first) book?

I am very pleased to say that book two is written and is with my editor, so there will be some editing required once she’s read it. I have just finished my first attempt at a children’s story so it will be interesting to see if it is good enough to get published. But right now I am very focused on counting down to my holiday!

Do you love or hate Facebook?

I am totally confused by Facebook! I love Twitter but could do with a dummies guide to Facebook if anyone has one. I set up an author page and it has one ‘like’ and that was from me – so I’m pretty sure I’m doing something wrong!

Cocktail or shot? If so, what one?

Cocktail! They remind me of holidays and I love being on holiday, it is one of my most favourite things. I like a Mojito but if I am being honest I must confess that I also like a Pina Colada. Oh the shame of it!

Tea or coffee?

Tea with a custard crème.

Thanks so much, Bella for joining me on my blog today. Good luck with It started At Sunset Cottage.

About It Started At Sunset Cottage

‘A well written and very intriguing tale that I really enjoyed.’ – Katie Fforde

Kate Marshall is slowly getting her life back on track after losing her fiancé. As an author she has been able to hide herself away from the world and its expectations – but now one of her books has been optioned for a film and Hollywood suddenly comes knocking on her door!

When Kate is given the opportunity to stay at a beautiful country retreat and concentrate on the screenplay, it’s an offer she can’t refuse. Encouraged by her best friend, sharp-tongued single mum Sarah, Kate sees it’s finally time to stop letting life pass her by.

Looking for confidence and inspiration in the idyllic Cotswolds countryside, the last thing Kate expects is for Timothy Calder, A-list actor and leading man in the movie adaptation of her book, to turn up on her doorstep, hoping to lie low after his latest tabloid scandal! But after a rocky start, with Tim narrowly avoiding death by watering can, they find they have a few things in common: a liking for Lady Grey tea, walnut whips and bad ‘knock knock’ jokes. Actually, the bad jokes are just Tim.

As an unlikely friendship begins to blossom, and with circumstances repeatedly throwing them together, is Sunset Cottage where both Kate and Tim’s lives will really start?

Buy links: Amazon UK ~ Amazon US

Short Bio – Bella Osborne

Bella has been jotting down stories as far back as she can remember. Her first story, written when she was nine, was about a thief who stole the crown jewels and this sadly remains unpublished. However, undeterred, she continued to write stories for adults and 'It Started At Sunset Cottage' is her debut novel.

She likes to find the humour in the darker moments of life and weaves these into her stories. Bella believes that writing your own story really is the best fun ever, closely followed by talking, eating chocolate, drinking fizz and planning holidays.

She lives in The Midlands with her lovely husband and wonderful daughter, who thankfully, both accept her as she is (with mad morning hair and a penchant for skipping).

For more about Bella, visit her website at or follow her on Twitter - @osborne_bella

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Seeking The Light... Again!

Okay so this is going to be one of those heart-felt blog posts. I'll apologise now.

I remember back in 2012 I did a similar post when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel... but it arrived, bright and full of promise. I've now been in my cosy little house 2 years, and I'm divorced, and my ex-husband and I have an amicable, even friendly, relationship... until we talk about money. My kids are happy, I have two books published, I enjoy my post office job, and until recently I was happy too.

As most of you may know I was in a relationship with my Mr Aquarius. We'd met online and had been together just over 8 months. My boys loved him, we'd even become a lovely family unit. And I hoped I'd found the one. There's no guarantee - I know that. But we were good together. We laughed and had fun, which is the main thing. He ticked all the important boxes for me. I've spent the last 8 months moulding my life around his, including him, trying not to work too much during the evenings, and filling my weekends with him in them.

Well, two weeks ago he ended it all suddenly. I'm still not even sure it's clear to me why. All I know is that I'm suffering from a severe broken heart.

The last two weeks I have felt at times debilitated by grief. And he's not dead. But I've not known a loss like this for such a long time. Yeah, I've been dumped by guys before, but it's been after a shorter time, and deep down I knew it wasn't right either... but this... I'm just confused. My life feels like something is missing, void.

I play over and over times, memories, to see if I missed the signs. I go through moments of anger, hating him so much for how much he's hurt me, to missing him so badly I ache because I still love him. I can't just turn it off. I wish I could. I know it's something that will only fade and heal with time. (Just could do with Dr Who's damn Tardis right now).

Before I'd met Mr Aquarius, I had got used to being single, to spending Friday evenings on my own, coping with the quiet in my house at the weekends when the kids were at their Dad's. And I now have to do it all over again.

And the thought of having to date again makes my heart turn cold. I'm even worried this has affected me so much that when I do gain the strength to start this process all over again, I'm going to be different, lack a trust I give so bloody easily.

I keep a notepad close by and write every feeling and thought down. When my head can focus back on the writing, all these feelings and emotions will at least be useful in my stories. (Always look at the positives, Teresa!) It's already given me help with my third book... but Maddy's hero will come back.

I would never expect someone to stay with me if they didn't love me, or felt it wasn't right. I understand that. Just the way this happened, has left me at such a loss...

Don't worry... I know time is a big healer... This girl will be back to her full bouncy self soon... never let the bastards get you down and all that!

I want to thank all my friends that have been a fantastic support (and continue to do so). I love you all so much and I hope I can be there for you in equal strength in your times of trouble. x x x

And so it's back to buying myself flowers...

Found this on YouTube... I treated myself to Taylor Swift's 1989 album and started playing it tonight - all the songs are pretty apt for what I'm feeling right now but this one in particular is appropriate. "All you had to do was stay." (This is an acoustic version).

"Why did you have to lock me out when I let you in."

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Happy Paperback Birthday for One Fine Day

I don't have one book birthday for my books I get two! One Fine Day is out in Paperback as of today. 

Happy Paperback Book Day to One Fine Day! 

It came out in Ebook 8th January 2015 and now is available in paperback in the UK via Amazon. or Waterstones

About One Fine Day: 

Just a boy standing in front of a girl…

Steve Mason has it all … gorgeous looks, the perfect starlet girlfriend hanging on his arm and his name on every Hollywood producer’s lips. That is, until it turns out the ‘perfect girl’ is actually a perfect PR stunt! Dumped and with his name plastered across every tabloid headline, Steve decides to head home to England, questioning if he’ll ever find a woman who genuinely loves him for who he is, and not just his place on the Sexiest Man Alive list.

It’s been fifteen long years since Ruby last saw her big brother but the new LA version of Steve complete with designer wardrobe, California tan and an American accent is too much to bear Ruby hardly recognises him and decides it’s time to get her brother back!

With Ruby’s help, Steve goes undercover as he plays the part of a regular guy who leads a regular life. And then one perfectly fine, ordinary day he meets lovely, funny, down-to-earth Lydia. But when Hollywood comes calling, will Steve be able to leave both Lydia and his little sister behind?

5 STAR AMAZON Review - "It was really refreshing to read something based around a male character for a change. It was a lovely, easy, warming read and left a smile on my face. I especially liked Ruby's character. Perfect kind of book if you want something light and happy to escape into!"

Steve Mason looks a little bit like Bradley Cooper if you're a bit of a fan...

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Lorraine Wilson's Chalet Girl Celebratory Competition

You know how it is, you wait ages for a new Chalet Girl release and then two come along at once ;-)

I wrote ‘Chalet Girl Plays Cupid’ specifically as a freebie giveaway. I wanted something fun to give to my readers as a thank you for all their support. The dedication reads ''For my lovely readers - thank you so much for your support, your friendship...oh, and for buying my books! Without you I'd be nothing x.’

The one part of being published that took me by surprise was how rewarding it would be to connect with readers - online via Facebook and Twitter and by email. When you’re having a bad day a reader telling you how much they’re looking forward to reading your next book can be just the spur you need to keep you writing. There is nothing more satisfying than someone enjoying a story I’ve created.

Hope you enjoy the freebie. Chalet Girl Plays Cupid is FREE everywhere. Publication date is 5th March 2015

Get your copy here-

If that wets your appetite there is another Chalet Girl release this month - 'Rebellion of a Chalet Girl’, publication date 26th March 2015, get your copy here-

To celebrate having two releases this month I’m running a special competition. Enter for a chance to win a Lorraine Wilson Design Shoulder Bag made with novelty magazine cover fabric, a Chalet Girl book bag complete with signed copies of all 4 Chalet Girl Paperbacks!

Enter here -

Chalet Girl Plays Cupid

A match made on the slopes…

After a messy break up that’s left her homeless, jobless and single, temporary chalet girl Emily needs a fresh start! So when best friend Holly asks her to help out before the start of the winter season at the exclusive Chalet Repos in Verbier, Emily jumps at the chance. What broken heart can’t be fixed by après ski cocktails?

Verbier seems like the perfect escape, until Emily meets super-sexy and darkly brooding winter athlete Jake. She’s meant to be avoiding men at all costs, but the spark between her and Jake is sizzling! As she finds herself increasingly left alone with Jake, Emily begins to wonder if Cupid has paid a visit to Chalet Repos…!

Rebellion of a Chalet Girl

Always the Chalet Girl…

Year round chalet girl Tash doesn’t do attachments—she’s learned the hard way that relationships of any kind never last. But when self-made millionaire and hit TV star Nathaniel Campbell arrives to spend a month at Chalet Repos, she’s tempted to reconsider her no-strings rule…

Tash and Nate may be from different sides of the tracks, but the connection between them is undeniable! And Tash soon realises that one hot night with Nate will never be enough. But can Nate ever think of Tash as more than a fling, especially once the truth about her past comes out?

The Chalet Girls are back! Set in the exclusive Swiss ski resort of Verbier, winter playground of the rich and famous, ‘Rebellion of a Chalet Girl’ is the latest addition to the fabulous ‘Chalet Girl’ series.

Find out more about the Chalet Girl Series: