Friday, 30 November 2018

A Letter To My Ex

Dear Ex,

If you're going to private message me via my Facebook Page, you might want to unblock me to maybe allow me to reply.

I won't. (But even if I wanted to, I actually can't.)

Neither will I take down the post.

(Dear readers, apparently he doesn't like this post, He prided himself on being such a good man see, but 4 months in counselling told me a very different story. There's an article too about men sending inappropriate pictures that I posted, maybe he's not liking this either). 

I will not do either of these things (reply or remove post) because 1) I am blocked, and I've never done anything wrong, 2) I owe you nothing, yet you owe me 14 months of my life back, and 3) it's the truth, and it's my blog, so bite me.

I could list more, but these are good enough reasons.

Oh, maybe, I've never had an apology, or an explanation why you're such an F@ckwit.

However, with reference to the last part of your message, and you stating that you 'massively misread the situation at the start of our relationship', I would like to point out that you completely and utterly misread the whole of our relationship. I was working towards a future together. You however, was always going to bolt as soon as your terms got questioned.

So, on that note, hope life's treating you well shit.

Your Ex.

Wednesday, 21 November 2018

I Think I've Found Closure

So, last week something rather random happened. I was contacted via Facebook by an ex of my Ex (I now like to call him He Who Should Not Be Named or the other begins with a C and is rather rude for this blog). She is the one (of many by the sounds of things) after me.

Through messaging, I have discovered that he has made her feel like they were soulmates, deeply in love, and then, without warning, suddenly ending their relationship. Sound familiar?

She was so apologetic for getting in touch, but felt she needed to. I told her I didn't mind at all. This time last year I had wanted to do the same, to gather some understanding to what the hell had happened to a perfectly good relationship (or so I thought it was).

Now, I never in a million years thought I could empathise like this, and feel so much for her well-being. I mean she's an ex of an ex, right? I thought I would feel a jealousy, or something not anywhere near what I do feel for her.

He has hurt her too, breaking her heart. She is me, a year ago.

This has highlighted to me that I did not know the man I was dating. I don't recognise the man she tells me about, what he's doing, what he's done to her, what he's doing to other women. He's a liar and a cheat. A manipulative bastard.

He still sends dick pics - even when I stressed very strongly women do not need to see these sort of pictures, especially before actually dating, or having sex!

Friends said to me earlier in the year, that one day I would look back on the 14 months we shared together and I will have fond memories of them.

At the moment I can't see it. I look back and think of it all as lies and deceit. I don't know that man! The way it ended has also soiled those memories for me, too. And I'm not sure I want to look back on them fondly, because I couldn't understand what went wrong.

All I feel is that I wasted 14 months of my life working on a relationship he was never actually interested in.

She said to me that she felt so stupid and naive. SO DID I!

All I do know is I'm in such a good place right now, and learning these things about him has helped me get closure. And I hope, I'm helping this other woman, too, with the counselling I gained. And from the fact that he's done it again, reassures us and shows that there is nothing wrong with us, and it is all on him.

So now there are two of us praying he meets a psycho-bitch from hell who will make his life a living nightmare! Maybe we should start a Facebook group - He Who Shall Not Be Named Ex's. 😹

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

We love Kos

Gatwich very early 24th October 2018
Since returning last week, I have really wanted to write about my holiday in Kos. Only because it was such great fun, but I wanted to share the anxieties as a single mum that I had before going out to a foreign country, on my own, with my two children.

Exactly that.

I was going on holiday, to a foreign country, on my own, with my two sons. This actually scared me. A smidgen at least.

Ready for take off!
I haven't really travelled much abroad in the last fourteen years, opting for holidays in Cornwall with my young family. But thanks to the success of Meet Me At Wisteria Cottage getting into Sainsbury's, I was able to afford a holiday abroad with my two sons.

I thought this would be a good way to celebrate too and share my success.

I was recommended Atlantica Porto Bello Beach hotel in Kos as it had a water park as part of the all inclusive package.

About to get a drink at the beach bar.

Well, we had a fabulous time. The food was fantastic, the hotel was lovely, the beach, the staff, the water park.... couldn't fault a thing really.

I did tell the kids I was taking a break from real life, meaning no routine, etc. However, I couldn't take a break from parenting, as they were coming with me, but if they could be good as much as possible, so that I didn't have to do the parenting thing too much. Ha ha! And they did. To be honest, they were really well behaved, and I could trust them to keep themselves amused together - especially snorkelling or going down the slides at the water park. The three of us had a huge amount of fun - especially in the water park, which we visited every day! (I had to do each slide at least twice - once with each boy. Being that bit heavier, I made it go faster lol!)

Anyway, our week in Kos will certainly go down as one of our best holidays. I was reminded why I love Greece. The temperature rose to 24 degrees, sometimes a little warmer, but it was a lovely temperature allowing us to do enjoy the warmth but not hide from the sun as you need to in 30-40 degree heat. And I didn't have to worry about them getting burnt as the sun's strength was definitely weaker. I will definitely consider going away in October again.

So, I hope to take the boys away again soon - if I can get another book contract, obviously. And when I do get to take them away again, I won't be half as anxious about it.