Life At Nifty Fifty

I thought I best blog about turning 50. 

It happened last week, and if you follow me on Instagram, then you'll know I was doing a reel in the last days of my forties - much to my sons' delight. (You're so embarrassing, mum!) 

The interesting thing is, I just filmed myself, no make-up - maybe brushed my hair and did it. Twenty years ago, or even ten, I would have needed full make-up on and a change of top! 

Being fifty doesn't really feel very different. Age is just a number really, and with a positive mindset, you'll keep yourself young. It's just the body that will let us down sometimes ha ha! But even then with good diet and exercise, you can help keep your body working too. I am trying to grow old gracefully, or disgracefully... depending how you want to look at it.

But my aim is to work on my fitness and my health so I can continue to live life to the fullest. 

Turning fifty has meant that I have been spoilt with cards, messages and presents. And CAKE! (Thank you, Sara, The Bentley Road Baker!)

My day was spent with some good friends at Bath Thermae Spa and then a late lunch at The Ivy. 

I had drinks on the Friday evening with even more of my valued friends, and visited my mum on Sunday, to get another cake - carrot cake made with love by Mum. 

And then, just to add more grey hairs, an adrenalin filled day at Thorpe Park on the rollercoasters! 

Anyway, I never get depressed about being a year older. Some people don't get to make it to fifty... or whatever age. We should always be grateful for every day we get to live life. 

Some days are harder than others, as life can throw curveballs at times, but I have found writing down my three positives from my day just before I go to bed has helped me have a much more positive outlook on life, and even when I look back over the year. 

Carrot Cake!

I've focussed on the good, not the bad.

For things to change, you've got to change.* (*by Jim Rohn)

I started journaling in 2017 when my self-esteem had reached its lowest. By the end of 2019 I came off online dating. And in 2020, where I discovered in Lockdown I was happy on my own, I joined UW to improve my financial situation and fund my writing passion. 

And through this business, it sent me on a massive personal development journey.

Life is good. I am happy, albeit perimenopausal - ha ha! Here's to the next 50 years! 

I Am Happy!

I was speaking to one of my bestest friends on Sunday evening. We catch up regularly over WhatsApp and have a video chat. It's a habit we got into during lockdown, and when we haven't seen each other in a few weeks, we like to have a chat. I love her dearly. 

Anyway, I threw into conversation that I was thinking about going back to online dating. Just to maybe get a date. Nothing serious. Not like before. And she said, "I was just telling Nicola the other day that you're the happiest I've ever seen you. Don't do it." 

And she is right. I am happy right now. I love my life, I love being single and quite frankly, not having unfit middle-aged men that have so much baggage and drama mucking me around.

Don't get me wrong, some days are tough, like everyone, I have my good and my bad days. But generally, I am more than happy sharing my life with my boys, my family and my friends, and even going it alone. I am happy! 

I caught up with another friend yesterday. We lunched in Bristol. She was telling me about her online dating dramas and it assured me that I didn't need it. My mental health is so much better off with not doing online dating. 

It's so time consuming and mentally draining. Mainly this is because the messages you receive, and the lack of quality of men who message you, really starts chipping away at your self esteem. You start thinking is this the best I can do? Do I only deserve to be treated like crap? 

So nope. Not doing it. Not going back there. I love my single life. And quite frankly, if a guy does come along, he really is going to have to be some hot hero to turn my head.

I'll wait for the Universe to provide... (If it could provide a fit 50-something Norman Reedus, that would be perfect... ha ha!)

49

So I'm now in the last year of my 40's. This is technically, my 50th year... 

The last couple of years has been a dramatical change to my mindset, all thanks to joining Utility Warehouse. I was probably getting stronger already, as I'd dropped online dating. I'd clearly got to the point where I didn't want timewasters in my life anymore and that if I was meant to be with someone, eventually the universe would provide. 

However, the past couple of years has really strengthened my belief that I am more than happy to live on my own. I have enough friends and things going on around me to keep me busy. And I'll never be bored because I will always have writing. 

UW has given me something that I also desired; financial freedom. And the belief that I will have it. 

I am concerned that if I did find someone else in this life, I don't want to lose my financial independence. I will want to own my own house. I don't want to be in a relationship to rely on that person's income. And I definitely don't want to give up on the decision making. 

In my marriage it had been so easy to hand over all the financial reins to my husband. But now I've got them back, I don't want to ever lose that again. 

I was supposed to post this around my birthday... I started writing it in October, the day before my birthday, but opps... I've neglected my blog. 

Anyway, here's to the last year in my forties, and to my fifty things for fifty...