Sunday, 29 July 2012

Does Romance Exist Only In Books?

Are we holding out for a hero?
I was feeling, as per usual lately, a bit melancholy the other day, (I promise I will snap out of it one day) and posted on Twitter whether romance existed outside of books. With my head and heart ready to move on, I get these thoughts/ideas/feelings, and wonder if it's just romantic rubbish that others will just roll their eyes at.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking this yet, but I can't help it. I ponder on who the next man in my life might be, and what he will be like... and will I be too choosy. Are my expectations as a romance writer too high?

I know I'm going through something very un-romantic at the moment, but I do believe I am a romantic. (Or a dreamer lol!) It's possibly why I have moved on. My life lacked the romance I crave. I like little intimate moments, cuddles and kisses, and gestures.

I believe romance is like writing. You need to show someone how you feel about them every single day, not just tell them.

With a new relationship, once the "can't get enough of each other" phase passes, does the romance still exist? How do you keep it alive? Is there a natural chemistry or such a thing as a soul mate? 

Are some people just more romantic than others? Do some feel it's just mumbo-jumbo?

Do people really have candle lit dinners, and write love letters?

Admittedly, I do feel the romance is taken out of a meal in a restaurant on Valentine's day.  All sitting in rows, eating from the same set menu. But to come home to a house lit by candles and dinner on the table...

Before the days of email, I did used to write to my first boyfriend a lot. He joined the army, so my letters were very important to him. And he would even write back. I also used to write to my husband when we first met and lived across the country from one another.

Have letters been replaced by texts, emails and direct messages?

Will a knight in shining armour ride in on a white horse and save the day?

I always remember the episode of Will and Grace where Leo (Harry Connick Jr) arrives on a white horse to save Grace. (Could I find a clip or photo on the internet - sorry, guys, no! - but it's season 5 episode And the horse he rode on.) Does it only happen in fiction, or do real life heroes sweep us off our feet? Not necessarily on a white horse...

Do perfect strangers kiss, drawn by sexual chemistry and attraction? (Actually I can answer that one as a yes... it usually all starts with that first kiss).

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

I do worry that because I am a romantic novelist, that some of the romance does only exist in books, even though I'd like it to happen in reality, will the guys I date get 'it'? Or do I day dream too much?

Should men hold doors open for ladies? It's not sexist, it's romantic and a gentlemanly gesture in my eyes. But how do others feel?

I suppose I worry that when I do get to start dating again, will the (new) man in question look at me as if I'm odd if I make a romantic gesture? Or will he feel daunted that I might expect them? I don't believe you have to be 'in love' to love.

Favourite Love Actually moment.
Do you tell someone that you love them, or care, whether they want to hear it or not?

How does romance exist for you, outside of books? What do you believe?

I'm looking forward to my new romantic adventure(s) and hopefully will gain good writing material if nothing else from the experience - I'm eager to try speed dating!

Sorry, there are an awful lot of questions in this post, but interested to know your thoughts. Why do you write romance?