In Search Of Writing Mojo

I've decided to put the editing on hold for yet another month, so that I can concentrate on NaNoWriMo, in the hope to finding my writing mojo.

Now, it's a toss up between writing another contemporary romance - I have an idea of an ex-fireman and an artist who are neighbours, and fight like cat and dog, until something pushes them together, and they realise the actual bickering is because they fancy the pants off one another. Or my vampire idea, where instead of being buried for a month to finish the 'making' process, she is buried for over 100 years and goes in search of her maker, and whether she will still find him alive. Or I have a fantasy idea, which is a sort of cross between Willow, Lord of The Rings, and How To Train A Dragon. Obviously, they will all contain some romance, but the genre and sub-plot will make them different to the contemporary romances that I (try to) write.

Another thing that is niggling away at me. I want to rejoin the RNA's new writers' scheme, and think what will be my next book that I send them next year? Or will I edit Perfect Isn't An Option and re-send that for another grilling. But I will want to send them something, otherwise it will be a waste of an opportunity in such a great scheme.

If I write a contemporary romance for NaNoWriMo, it will mean I've got a novel in process for submitting to the scheme... However, the point of doing NaNo is to have some fun, and to get back into the swing of writing, making time for it etc. So should I go with something that feels burning to be written?

I don't believe this is writer's block, this is me losing my mojo. My motivation has gone at the moment. There is just so much going on in my life, draining my thought process, some I would love to tell you all about, but can't really. (I've been accused of attention seeking by airing my life so publicly). My brain is just foggy. That's the only way I can describe it. And my heart feels tender and a little heavy. Everything is good writing fodder, and with my emotions up and down, I've tried to note some of it, in the hope I can use it for writing.

But I live for the day when my heroes are back in my head, talking to me good and proper. I miss those day-dreamy days. 

Another worry, which is a frustration more than anything, is that if I'm not writing then I'm going to take even longer at reaching my dream of being published. So I add this additional pressure to myself - don't I? *rolls eyes* I have Champagne in the fridge waiting! Maybe I'll open it upon entering new house and new life... and buy another bottle for my first signed writing contract.

The whole purpose of this blog post was to get me to do some writing. And I did.

I am off to my mum's for a few days tomorrow. I will be taking my new laptop and trying it out, meaning I won't be too cut off from the internet - if I can get the kids off it. I also need to get back into reading too. I read to Ben, but I'm not doing enough for me either. Gosh, 2012 is turning out to be a tough year for me. I'm going to try not to beat myself up about it too much.