Saturday, 16 September 2017
Moving On Is The Hardest Part
I've got to get used to it at some point, right?
I mean, for the last year I have spent pretty much every weekend with you, usually at your house with your kids...
I did everything I could to fit in, to please you. I tried not to make demands, I just wanted to love you, and in return you love me.
You are still in my thoughts everyday. Sometimes I'm angry - that you weren't prepared to work at our relationship, you just walked away. Sometimes I'm just in shock that you're no longer a part of my life. It makes my heart physically ache. I just can't believe it - I pray I'm dreaming. Each day I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that you are no longer my future. At the moment I don't feel whole. I feel incomplete. And it's up to me to fix this gap, learn to be happy on my own, single again.
Friends ask if I've heard from you and I tell them no. I'm not surprised that you haven't contacted me - I did lash out to hurt you, because I was hurting myself. But, to be honest, if you can leave me so quickly, without a backwards glance, you can see how I question the sincerity of your love. I can see how you don't really care... Was it infatuation, did I just fill a gap, and once you were done, you discarded me?
I think what hurts me the most is that you knew I was afraid of this happening to me again. And yet you still did it.
Labels: broken hearted, grief, loss of a relationship, love, men are from mars, moving on, relationships, single, singleton
Granola-Dust-Obsessed Mum to 2 boys and a budgie, romance novelist, RNA & Society of Authors member. Apologies for my randomness, I'm The Wittering Woman