21 Years Being A Mum

Happy 21st Birthday, Ben - my first born, who made me a mummy! 

So I'm celebrating 21 years of being a parent. 

I can still remember the moment you were born, laid out on my tummy, blue eyes staring back at me.  

I'm incredibly proud of the young man you've become. 

Don't get me wrong, you still drive me potty at times, taking your time to do things, as you did coming into this world (33 hours of labour!) but I love that you have your own style, loving to dress up to the occasion. 

As well as liking to get dressed up, even in fancy dress, you're also happy to rough it camping, surfing, walking, also being outdoorsy. 

(Obligatory new born photo - one of my favourites)

You'll even entertain your old mum in things not deemed 'cool' (by your younger brother.) You're good fun and always happy to participate in whatever we suggest. 

I love that you'll even share a bottle of wine with me. 😍 (You'll make a great date when the right young lady comes along!)

I'm so proud you're working hard in your apprenticeship, training to be a construction engineer. 

I love that you like the finer things in life and know to work hard to achieve them. 

Keep being you, keep working hard, have fun and enjoy life, and maybe tidy your room occasionally...

Lots of love, 

One very proud mum. 

Xxx

(I scheduled this blog post to go live the minute you were born... 6.36am)

No Longer A Teenager

So where have the last 20 years gone? My boy has gone from baby to adult, what feels like very quickly. No longer a teenager! 

Now working as a Construction Engineer apprentice - all that lego building has paid off. 

Happy 20th Birthday, Ben! 

Keep being you... but if you could just tidy your bedroom more that would be great...  

Love you, always, even when I'm grumpy, Mum x x x 

There's Another Adult In The House

Where has my baby boy gone? All of a sudden I am now the owner of an adult! I don't even feel mature enough to have an adult as a child. 

Happy 18th Birthday, Ben. 

Even when you drive me to frustration, I do love you. I am incredibly proud of your achievements. 

Continue to work hard and follow your dreams, and the universe will provide. But the MX5 might not be an ideal first car ha ha! 

And now for the photos! I know I post this picture a lot (above), but it's my favourite. I could watch him sleep and I just loved that blue sleepsuit on him. It was my favourite. These moments I do miss. 

And then this is Ben off to his first ever football practice, and Kieran would watch from the sidelines until he was old enough to join him. 

I love how Kieran looks at his big brother so adoringly, and yet now, the bickering drives me mad! Hopefully, when they both emerge from their teenage years, they'll be the best of friends again. 

I could share loads of photos as I have LOADS of photos. 

But this is Ben pretty much now. Taller than me, and possibly the spitting image of me (poor boy). Ben on holiday in Corfu. Still only 17. 

He's training to be a civil engineer, and to be honest, it's such a suited job. He's always loved building things with lego. He's loved steam trains, and still does, and once, Grandad couldn't drag him off the seafront, where he was more than happy to watch the cranes building the new Grand Pier after it had burnt down. 

I love how you're afraid of dogs but not swans. I love that you send me funny reels via instagram, some of them proving we both have the same silly sense of humour. I love that you drink coffee. You appreciate nature, the stars, and good quality chocolate. 

You're not perfect. Nobody is. But I do hope that your dad and I have done enough for you to go out into this big wide world, and make it your own. 

Lots of love,  Mum x x x 

Happy 16th Birthday, Ben

This isn't funny now. Where has my baby gone? Quite literally! He is taller than me! Ben is growing up too fast. He is now 16!

I know this is where most parents harp on about how kind and amazing their kids are. And of course they are. We're all biased. But I like to keep it real. My son drives me completely potty at times with his inability to keep his room tidy or put things back, or close doors, or turn lights off. He's so laid back it frustrates me! Realistically, Ben and I do have our off days. I don't always like the woman I become when I have to nag him to put his washing in the wash basket. 

However, Ben can be my little (but taller) buddy. He's happy to go for a walk, join me on National Trust adventures, sometimes help out with dinner... He is also quite funny, having a similar sense of humour to me. (I've found someone I can watch Red Dwarf with). He is also hard working (when not distracted). And his laidback, calm attitude will just stand him in such good stead for life. He is quietly confident, which does not make him arrogant.

This week, he has returned to school after having to self-isolate for 10 days, thanks to the NHS Track and Trace app pinging. (Lord knows how this happened, we were in Lockdown, and Ben isn't the sort of son who walks the streets and hangs out with his mates outside corner shops!) However, all of Year 11 got sent home on Friday to self-isolate for another 14 days. So Monday, Ben decided to still go into school and work there - even though he's the only Year 11 in! There are 6-7 other children in his year that could do this but they've chosen to stay home. I do think this shows his sensible nature; not to follow the herd, to be independent. But it also shows his dedication to learn. 

This year has been so hard, with cancellations on things you so wanted to do, from your D of E Silver expeditions to your work experience with Highways England, yet you've taken it all in your stride.

So even though we do have our off moments, I do love you immensely, and I'm incredibly proud of all you've achieved so far. And I will always be here for you. After an ectopic pregnancy at 29, I wasn't confident that I'd have children. But just over a year later, you did come along and light up my world. 

Happy 16th Birthday, Ben xxx

Proud Owner of a Fifteen Year Old

As I write this, (yesterday) fifteen years ago, I would have been in labour... I went into labour on the 2nd of December, around 11pm after a day of being on my feet (wanting to bring the baby on), thinking I'd have my bundle of joy on my sister's birthday (3rd of December).

Oh, no... thirty-three hours later...

Ben entered the world as he meant to go on in life... taking his sweet time about it. He's not really in a rush now, at fifteen! He arrived at 6.36am on the 4th December.

He might drive me potty at times, away with the fairies, leaving doors open, lights on but he makes me incredibly proud as he does put a 110% into everything he does.

He loves school, he loves learning and he loves sport! He is like a sponge, always absorbing information and facts.

I'm lucky to have a boy who is academically bright as well as sporty. He is an allrounder. He might not be the best at everything, but he's pretty good at it all... and like I said, he puts the effort in. The school have praised him on his attitude to learning.

Ben is growing up to be a thoughtful. intelligent, easy going young man, even a little profound and mature in his thinking. He is very logical. He may be laid back but I know, through his lack of caring of image and what others think, he shouldn't succumb to peer pressure.

He takes after me, liking posh chocolates and coffee. (I haven't encouraged wine just yet - obviously!) The worrying thing is he is as tall as me now. And I reckon by Christmas, he may even be taller!

Happy birthday, Ben! I love you so much x x x

Owner of a 14-Year-Old Today!

New snorkels in Kos. Sums your silliness up! 

I can't believe THIS boy turns 14 today!

Happy birthday, Ben!

Gosh, I remember the morning of your birth, (as if it were yesterday, and not 14 years ago!) and you were laid on my tummy, swaddled in a towel, blue eyes staring up at me, and my love for you was unconditional from that moment on.

I was also petrified that I'd just become a mum.

You may drive me potty at times, with your dreamy, laid back attitude, but you have a wicked sense of humour, you're funny, thoughtful, helpful, and I admire how you put 110% into everything you do.

I love your quiet confidence and you do make me very proud.

You're going to grow up into a fine young man!

Love you, so so much,

Mum x

(Too old to be Mummy now 😟).

Kos 2018 - favourite Mocktail - Magic Island!

Proud Mum To A Teenager!

Ben in my favourite sleepsuit! 

My first born, Benjamin James (Ben) is thirteen today!

When he was first born, I saw him as my miracle baby. I only had one Fallopian tube and had doubted whether I would get pregnant naturally. And I remember, after my long laborious labour (I should have taken that as a sign, he'd take his time entering this world, he'd take his time and be laid back about everything from then on in life) that I was grateful and happy to have a healthy baby boy - weighing a whopping 9lb 4oz. If I couldn't have any more, at least I'd been given the gift of at least one baby. And I know some don't even get that, so I was filled with joy.

One memory I have, while I was still in hospital, adjusting to motherhood and breastfeeding; I'd left him in the nursery - the only place you could leave the babies unattended - so I could shower. I came back to his cot to find him gone and a brief moment of panic hit me, fearing someone had stolen my boy. I turned around and midwife held him, showing another midwife/nurse on the ward my baby, saying, 'look how handsome this baby is.' My heart filled with so much pride. (He was incredibly handsome as a baby - but I thought I was biased as his mother).



As he grows older, you can see he's the spitting image of me. And now he has glasses, we are even more similar. Even though he drives me mad, because he is pretty much away with the fairies, in his laid back state, I love him more than words can truly describe. He is laid back, quietly confident, clever (Mathematician of The Year!) and fairly mature - when not bickering with his brother. And though he'll do things that make me cross, he does so much that makes me proud, too.





Not sure where he gets being so chilled out from. My dad (Granddad Ron) and I laugh about it quite regularly. It's certainly not from me. But he loves cake and chocolate - which he does get from me! I love that he loves reading! And I've recently got this boy into Red Dwarf. He is my buddy - when I don't have to be 'Mum' and nag him.

Happy 13th birthday, Ben. May you continue to grow into a great, wonderful, mature man.

I'm Doing Something Right

Woolacombe 2017

Last week my eldest was awarded Mathematician of the Year, Lower School for 2017. This actually is a great achievement, considering he was in Year 7 last year, so he was picked out against Year 7 and Year 8 students!

Then, last night I went to the parents evening for my youngest son, who is in Year 6 and will be moving up to secondary school next year.

As soon as I sat down, his teacher was 'well this is an easy parents evening', and gave my son such praise. From his attitude to learning to his conduct within the classroom and with his peers, she said he was a pleasure to teach. (And I know most say this, but I like to believe she meant it).

When my eldest was first born, and I'd come down from the joys of giving birth to a healthy baby, I was thinking 'oh shit - a boy'. I remembered all the boys at school when I was a girl that couldn't be bothered to learn, those that mucked about in the class room. The little shits basically. And then when I was sent a second boy, I thought my troubles had doubled.

Tyntesfield with Granddad - who never encourages them!

It is assumed that because they are boys, they will be naughty, that they will fight. (It did used to rile me when a mum would excuse her child's poor behaviour because he was a boy.)

My two are not always blue-eyed boys and they come with their flaws. They are still children, after all. They like to fight and bicker like any other siblings. Yet, one thing they both seem to do well is get on at school. (I'm pretty sure they have a personality transplant as they walk through the school gates.) I've never had a problem with them going off to school. They enjoy learning, and generally behave well for other people. They are both bright, intelligent boys, with great personalities (which they obviously get that from me! ha ha!). My fears of them being 'little shits' in the classroom have been squashed.

My eldest is lacking in some common sense at times...  it maybe the turning 13 symptoms... He can be away with the fairies which drives me and his dad mad! (I no longer take it personally when they play up for their dad at the weekends). And my youngest still knows how to throw a tantrum like a two-year-old when things aren't going his way. But generally, they are good boys, who I hope will turn out to be strong, successful, loving men.

Maybe me being a tough mum has paid off? Screaming like a banshee and expressing when I'm angry does work?

Maybe it's something their Dad and I have done right?

Now Proud Owner of a Pre-nager

Everything went a bit bonkers before the weekend, and I never managed to post my obligatory happy birthday post to my son - not that he sees it.

Anyway, my eldest turned 12 yesterday. TWELVE! Where the bloody hell did that go?

If you're reading this and nursing a baby, hug and cuddle that baby. Kiss him/her regularly. They grow up so fast. I savoured every cuddle with my two boys, especially when I was breastfeeding them and they would fall asleep in my arms. I only wish I'd got even more times like that.

Now I find myself frustrated and nagging more than I like to my not-so-little pre-nager...

I love him so much. And the reason I shout and scream at him is because I want him to turn into a decent human being, and a gentleman. I am bringing up a future husband after all. Generally, he's pretty good. He just seems so laid back with his head in the clouds at times, which is not me at all. Well, the writer in me does have my head in the clouds I suppose... But the dithering I can't cope with.

The picture of above shows how much he looks like me - poor sod!

Love you so much, Ben x x

2015 - before he cut his hair but one of my favourites of us!

My Name Is Rio

I'm not sure if I've told you about the new love of my life; Rio. I will tell you again anyway. He is a budgie. He is turquoise blue, and he is beautiful.

I bought him in October, as a birthday present to me. Apparently, he was only 8-9 weeks old, with his baby bands on the top of his head (which is now white in the picture). He is my pet.

This is so I don't have to nag the boys to feed him or clean him out. He is my responsibility, and yet, he gives the boys great pleasure. (And we get to laugh at his mad bird acrobatic ways).


I purchased a budgie because I so dearly wanted a pet in the house. I can't afford another cat, and I definitely don't have the time or the space for a dog either. (I don't really have space for a cat, the first thing we noticed when Chloe passed away was we had our only sofa back.)

Anyway, he is the best thing I could have done. He's given my kids a pet, but he's so much more interactive than the gerbils were. He talks to us in his chirpy way at breakfast time, and he's happy to land on us. He's getting more and more confident each day. Plus, he's such a funny thing to watch some times. His favourite things are his bells.

I have so many photos of him, and videos, but I've just posted these few to amuse you.


We are trying to teach him to talk. I keep saying things like 'beautiful bird', 'Hello, my name is Rio, and 'smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast,' and other silly things. Kieran keeps saying to him, 'Kieran is my best friend'. So cute.

The boys named him Rio after the film, because the bird in it is called Blue, but we decided that wasn't as original as Rio. It suits him so well.

When I go out, I always leave the radio on for him, so that he doesn't get lonely. They are sociable creatures, and quite intelligent. If I ever thought he was unhappy, I would get him a mate.

You have mad cat ladies... I am the crazy bird woman. :)

Advent Calendar Day 4 - Happy Birthday Ben!

I had to save the 4th door for my eldest son, Benjamin.

He turned 11 today!

I have absolutely no idea where all the years have gone. And I still remember his birth as if it was yesterday (well, almost - there are bits I have chosen to forget).

Ben does make me proud! As all mums wish, I hope he turns into a loving, handsome, young man. I am trying my best. Having two sons, I tell myself I'm bringing up future husbands! I want my future daughter-in-laws to thank me.

Ben is my quietly confident son, who is quite sensible but has no fear - except of some vegetables. He is becoming a bit annoying at times... as he's verging on turning into a teenager and tends knows it all. This is when he frustrates me. However, he shares my great sense of humour and even my sarcasm.



We never used to put the Christmas decorations up until the middle of December in our family, usually because we had a real tree. However, since Ben came along, I've always let him celebrate his birthday first, allowing his cards to stay up for a week (which is how long I tend to allow birthday cards to stay up!) Once they come down, then the Christmas cards can go up and the tree and decorations.

I do feel for him, as he has to wait a whole year for presents to open on his birthday, and then a few weeks later it's Christmas. It's a bit of a nightmare when it comes to present hunting!  And the expense. I made sure I planned Kieran better ;-)

Do you have a family birthday in December? How do you make sure they get to celebrate their birthday, and not get it lost in the excitement of Christmas?

My favourite photo of us! Taken this summer in Bristol. 

Summer Holidays Recap

Mijas

I thought I would take a look back at the summer holidays, which seem to come round quickly, just like Christmas, and then when they arrive, have flown by.

Apex Park

Every year I make plans how to fill my time with the kids, and depending on the weather, I never quite get to do half of it.

Admittedly, the boys are with their dad the first two weeks at the start of the holidays which allowed me this year to jet off to Spain for a few days. When they returned, I had four weeks to entertain them.


Well, this is the list of things we have done:

It's been parks, bike rides, the Cheddar Gorge, walking, climbing, zorb fighting, Slimbridge - feeding the swans and ducks, meeting/making new friends...

Zorbs - Apex Park

Costa coffees, hot chocolates, museums, train rides...

1 of 70 Shaun's - Dolly

Hungry Horses for tea...

Tytensfield with Dad for his 70th

More train rides to Bristol, Shaun The Sheep hunting, selfies, a visit to Nanny Sylvie's (where they did cinema and more parks), castles, steam trains, National Trust houses, 70th birthdays...

Board games, lunch at Za Za Bazaar, and a book signing...

The last Shaun - Starstruck! 

And ending with the theme park Devon Crealy, adding roller-coasters, log flumes, water chutes and drop slides, and Glamping, where we've cooked on a wood-burning stove and made camp fires, roasting marshmallows, and played football with newly made friends until dark.


Sadly, I couldn't put all of the photos on my blog...

Glamping

Yeah, I think I'm ready for the boys to go back to school.

Advent Calendar - Day 4

Hungry Horse for tea! 

Today is my son's 10th birthday! We're into double figures now! Where has my baby gone?

Therefore this blog post is dedicated to Ben. Happy 10th birthday!

Benjamin James aka Ben is my sensible and sometimes very slow child (especially when eating something he doesn't like). He's a bright boy with a great sense of humour and is quietly confident. He makes me very proud (and cross at times). I worry that he may not realise how much I do love him as he probably feels I'm shouting at or nagging him constantly.

I don't like to put any Christmas cards up or decorations, except the Advent calendar, until he's had his birthday and his cards get to stay up for a week.

The Advent Calendar.

He loves that his birthday is in the Advent Calendar, and I usually put a bit extra in. I have a cloth advent calendar that I fill with a piece of chocolate. Luckily the pockets are large enough to hold one for each of the boys.

We love each other really. 

Ben with his brother, Kieran.

10 years ago today, a dream came true for me. x 

n.b. Photos of the cake will be on Twitter and Facebook... as I've had to schedule this post - obviously! (Because I'm busy making the cake!)

Where Has My Baby Gone?

Today my son turned 9. Next year we're into the double figures (eek!) but at times it feels like yesterday that he was a babe in my arms, or my cheeky, mischievous toddler. Now, he's sensible but can chat back as well as any teenager. I didn't realise the attitude would start to show so early.

It's funny how over the weekend, when my mum visited, we were discussing my sister, who had her 26th birthday yesterday. We both couldn't believe how time had flown and she was 26! With fourteen years between us, I remember Katie growing up from baby to toddler to teenager like I'm seeing Ben do now.

Ben took his time coming into this world - I went into labour on the 2nd December, and telephoned my mum to say it looked like my new baby would share its birthday with my sister. But oh no, the 3rd December came and went in a gas and air induced blur. Over thirty hours later, on the 4th December at 6.36am Ben emerged.

Things haven't changed with Ben. When talking to teachers about his progress at parents evenings, his last teacher in Year Three gave him such praise, then ended it with, "But he's soooo slow."

Ben does tend to go off into a dream world (like his mum), and then he can be a bit of a perfectionist (unless it comes to homework) and wants to make sure things are done correctly (like his dad).

Although he's not overly enamoured with some of the things he has to do in literacy, he does enjoy reading and he's even making up his own stories (so maybe he will take after his mum).

Too cute not to post again!

Ben is quietly confident. Last year (i.e year 3) he played Jacob in his year's production of Joseph. He put his heart and soul into his performance on stage. He's not afraid to get up and do something. He's already showing his independence. He's not clingy, in fact, it's totally uncool for me to expect a kiss from him as he goes off to his classroom at the start of school.

I used to get away with keeping his hair short, especially as he has a double crown (like his dad). But he's wanted to grow it all summer, and so it's now a mop! He has soooo much hair (like his mum). Shhh! Don't tell Ben, I've got a hairdresser's appointment booked for next week, where hopefully she'll add some style (to keep me happy) and keep the length (to keep Ben happy).

Recent visit to Cadbury Garden Centre

He plays wonderfully with his brother, and then they can fight well too. They know how to push each others buttons - and mine! Yet when in trouble, they do stick together. I can see them being the best of friends.

I know I am biased but he was a handsome baby, and I hope he'll grow into a handsome man.

Happy birthday, Ben.

Remember I always love you, even when I'm angry, stroppy and strict with you. I do it only because I want to make you the best you can be - plus I'm bringing up a future husband! I want my daughter-in-law to thank me! ...so remember toilet seat down, wash your hands, and put your dirty washing in the laundry basket...

x x x

p.s. You'll never be too big to have a cuddle with your mum.